I think now I probably get why my blogs never stay running. This blog has to be my longest running blog though it’s not my most popular blog I’ve ever had.
But it’s because I’m a fairly private person.
The reason I started this blog was to begin voicing my opinion on different subject matters, and learn how to be strong about confrontations, strength my communications skills and above all, just get verbal about things.
And then slowly and more slowly I drifted. This blog became desolate as the two things I was passionate about on here (art and hair) migrated into separate blogs. And I notice I’ve been posting more to those than I do to this one. I said this would be my life blog, but by the look of it, you might say I’m a pretty boring person.
Sometimes you could say that, but I have too much rolling around this brain that I find myself hard to make into words or more accurately, want to make into words. I’ve always been the person who would rather write it out and burn the scraps rather than cry it all out to a fellow individual. So me and this “speaking my mind” thing never truly mixed.
To be honest, I don’t even know how to bring this blog back to life. But I won’t quit now! All of my subbies have probably gone away, unfollowed me but it’s okay. The only people I want subscribed to me are the ones who care to hear what I have to say, ALL THE TIME! To me, numbers don’t mean anything if nobody takes the time to even read what you have to say.
In a veeeery early post, I once wrote about how I was gonna get more personal with my blog, and I was gonna post more frequently and da-da-da-da-this because I had so many things to think and write about. But every time I wrote a post, I deleted it. For fear of being judged, harrassed, criticized, and I guess I just haven’t learned to handle that. Or maybe I have and I’m just not giving myself a chance to be tested. You know I do that sometimes. I think we all as humans do that from time to time. We get all raveled up in saying what we can’t do, but we don’t give ourselves a chance to be tested enough to see if we actually CAN!!
Well I’m kind of tired of not testing myself. Someone once said “everyday, do something that terrifies you!” and putting aside my privacy to write out my thoughts and let people read them has to be one of thee BIGGEST fears I can think of. It’s fun when people don’t know you inside and out you know? I was always that “mysterious kid” so putting my thoughts out seems to counteract what I worked so hard to maintain. LOL! I mean, I tested myself a little bit writing that one post about “no more villages to raise children” because that was pretty personal. I think I rewrote that post about four times before actually posting it because I wanted my wording to be right and I didn’t want to offend anyone. I got a disagreeing comment but she was very nice about it and I appreciate that. That is what I need to test myself on. Debates! So please, COMMENT. Test me (but don’t be rude please) and lets have a discussiong. I think this is why UncommittedCoils is still hanging by a thread because I’ve thought numerous times about just deleting this blog…..yet another one, right? But for some reason, I think this blog is still here because deep down I really want my thoughts to be voiced and my opinions to be heard. If we’re gonna start somewhere, why not start here?…..Eh, sure. But alas, if you continue to stay tuned, thank you.
If you don’t wanna, don’t subscribe, or unsubscribe. I mean, this IS still UncommittedCoils! I didn’t say there would be a consistency of posts now did I? Now….what to talk about? Good gravy nuggets now I’ve run out of ideas!